Windows 7's insanely great secret

Got Siri? Wish you did? Well, pard, did you realize that Windows 7 has voice-to-text BUILT RIGHT INTO THE OPERATING SYSTEM, and Microsoft has become so maladept at marketing that nobody knows?

I only found out myself by accident. I had become so fond of Siri and the iPad’s Siri-manquée that I started thinking, wouldn’t it be nice to have this on my desktop?

So I knew about Dragon voice-text software, and vaguely knew that Apple might have licensed it for Siri's code base, under oath of silence. And I was just about to buy Dragon for my PC, when I took trouble to read the Amazon user reviews.

Someone commented that Windows’ built-in voice-text was far superior.

"Nah, can't be," thought your naive correspondent. "Gotta be just for navigation." But when I Googled "Windows 7 voice to text," I got full instructions on how to activate this feature. Rocket science it is not. 

So I did what they said, plugged in the USB headset I use for Skype and...lo and behold.

It doesn't just work. Leaves Siri and Dragon in the dust. Faster, more accurate, with better navigation.

For hunt-and-peck people like me, it’s ike being told that you got a Porsche for Christmas several years ago and the keys have been in your pocket waiting to be noticed.

So go to your Windows 7 PC, click Start, Control Panel, Ease of Access and finally (pant, pant) SPEECH RECOGNITION. (Yes, Microsoft has buried this gem way out back in the reserved-for-disabled parking lot. Says a lot about why they're faltering right there, but that's a different article.)

Then plug in any microphone you happen to possess, or better still, treat yourself to a USB headset of the sort Amazon sells for under $30.

Try it. You're gonna love being a dictator.

Android hara-kiri confirmed in court

If there's one string we've been harping on for lo these many months, it's that Android is an Albatross around Google’s neck. While a swell cell phone OS, it has been hemorrhaging money, hogging engineers and otherwise doing Google dirty since day one. Or so we have contended.

And now it's official. As reported in Business Insider and all over tech-land, Android lost money in every quarter of 2010.

And who announced this? Why the judge in a lawsuit that's been occupying Google brass for months now, launched by Oracle to protest alleged copyright infringements embodied in, you guessed it, Android.

So WHY does Google keep shoveling treasure and talent into this corporate suicide machine, when some say they’re making four times more from their ads on iPhones? Why don't they at least start charging licensing fees from outfits like Samsung, who just doubled its sales of Android phones in the last reported quarter, compared to only a year ago?

Well, it kind of reminds me of that Woody Allen parable. Guy goes to his psychiatrist and complains, “My brother’s crazy, thinks he’s a chicken.”

“So why don’t you put him away?” says the shrink. And the guy says, “I would, but I need the eggs.”

And Google does need the eggs. They need a story to tell their investors – and themselves, most of all – when everyone asks, “What’s going to happen when people stop using laptops and desktops to surf the Internet? How will you make any money? What’s your mobile strategy?”

And Google says, “Android.”

Rim shot, please.

First take on the new iPad

Slit cellophone. Lift lid with fingernails. Observe container descending to desk. And there it is -- my new, retina-display and LTE-equipped iPad.

And I think, hmm, it really does look exactly like the iPad 2.

A SILLY MILLIMETER THICKER, the new, third generation iPad just might fit your iPad 2 gear. Then again, it might not. See article for the confusing details.

Well of course it does and I knew it would, but prepare yourself, okay?.

Next I try on the plastic back that I used for iPad 2. Bit tighter. Mm, mmm, there we go! Kind of like squeezing into your jeans when you've put on some pounds. Not so great looking. Off it goes.

Then I pull out another transparent back that proved a bit loose on my iPad 2. THIS one hugs the newbie perfectly. I got it on Amazon for $4.13 and the shipping was covered by Prime. Click here for the link if you're interested, but bear in mind it's dicey -- there's no brand name and the vendor keeps changing. (Personally, I risked eight bucks on two more backs for friends.)

My insanely expensive Apple Smart Cover fits well, as expected. As far as I know, Apple hasn't even changed the SKU numbers for their Smart Covers.

And my treasured Joule stand by Element Case, well, it kind of fits. Snap the back off your iPad, and no problem -- but that's admittedly a pain. I see their website is calling it "The Joule for iPad 1 and 2," and the entire line is on sale. Looks like they're clearing inventory. Possibly the new model will have an adjustable slot. But if you're the Naked iPad type, give the old one a gander. Mighty handsome.

So the message for iPad accessories seems to be WAIT, except for Smart Covers. If something's dirt cheap and says "fits iPad 2 and 3," you're probably okay.

Onto setup. If you restore from the Cloud, you're in for a VERY pleasant surprise. Last time I upgraded, my 150+ old apps showed up on the new screen helter skelter; took me over an hour to tuck them back into their folders.

But this time, they all materialize inside their proper folders! THANK YOU, Apple, for fixing that truly obnoxious bug.

Next I check all my email accounts, re-enter my passwords, make sure they work and they do. Very smooth. Much smoother than my last stab at this, when I set up a new iPhone in autumn 2011. Thanks again, Apple.

Calendars and contacts fly down from iCloud promptly, painlessly. iCloud is getting a LOT more reliable.

However, wireless setup is still way too s-l-o-w for me. I've got huge apps like GarageBand and many gigabytes of music and photos. So I connect to my desktop (a Windows PC) and process speeds up consierably.

All the same, you'd do well to set aside AT LEAST 2 hours for setup, unless you're starting from scratch with no music and zero photos.

Even then, you've got to do stuff like register your Apple ID, then wait for them to email YOU with a link that you click to confirm you exist. This may sound trivial, but noooo -- the email can be annoyingly slow, and you can't download Apps until it comes through and your Apple ID is official. No Netflix, no Kindle, no iBooks, no nothin'! My dear mother confronted this problem as we set up her iPad last weekend.Her confirmation email took nearly an hour to arrive. I'm going to hope it was a temporary problem, but stand advised. (To be continued...)

Upgrading iPad? Transfer your apps all neat & tidy– tucked into their folders just like before.

[CONFUSED NOTE: I posted this the day BEFORE my new iPad arrived, whereupon I discovered the problem no longer existed for me. After unboxing the device, gasping at its sparkling newness and noting that it looks exactly like my iPad 2, I ran setup, asked it to restore my last backup -- and all my apps obediently appeared in their proper folders. Said I to myself, "I guess they quietly fixed the bug in iOS 5.1." So, if you're upgrading to a third-generation iPad using a backup on your computer, you may not need this article. HOWEVER, I then watched a friend go through the entire exercise via iCloud, and his apps materialized in the usual chaotic state. So I'm leaving it up. You may not need this trick, but then again you may, and so you may as well read the article, because it's short and could save you hours.]

Ever faced the sprawling mess that happens when you restore an iPad? Your apps are there, but holy expletive, they’ve all escaped from their folders… STOP! Before you spend all afternoon making everything neat and tidy again… Here’s the secret to making your troupe of genies dive back into their bottles – all neat and tidy, just like before. Credit goes to Dan Frakes of MacWorld for turning me onto this parlor trick. His article provides full details and I recommend you consult it now. Following is a quick recap, in case the link above stops working. NOTE: This only works if you already posses a full backup. Happily, you probably will, if you’ve authorized online synch in your settings. If you’re upgrading and HAVEN’T ever backed up, by all means do so before transferring your apps. Basically, the trick consists of restoring your apps TWICE. You can do it the first time however you like, bu … The second time, make sure you do the restore using iTunes on your “mother ship” computer. Easiest way is to fire up iTunes, connect your device, then look in the iTunes sidebar for an iPad icon. When it appears, RIGHT click, then look for the option “Restore from backup.” Click on that option, wait while it happens and poof – you’re back in Kansas. If it doesn’t work, let me refer you again to the good Mr. Frakes, Hey, it was all his idea!

YouTube threatens me for WHAT?

Has this happened to you yet? I just got an email from YouTube, informing me that someone in Copyright Land thinks I tread on their toes.

The violation seems to come from an iPhoto slide show that I created out of snapshots from a recent beach vacation. Honest, that's all it is. 

So I'm wondering, what exactly could have offended the Powers That Be or their bots? Was it the photo I took of my loved ones outside of Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum? Or maybe one of the horses on Assateague Island felt offended that I compared his rear end to a Republican Presidential candidate? Or possibly it was the Cole Porter tune that Apple provided me with on iPhoto? (If the last, Apple has LOTS of 'splainin' to do.)

Look, YouTube. I don't need you. I'm going to pull down the questionable video tomorrow. But I do wonder why you're suddenly kissing up to the folks you flaunted a few years ago.

Methinks that just maybe, someone BIG at Google has been doing deals to secure a better future for the next incarnation of Google TV. Maybe they promised the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America, aka Hollywood) free reign to shake down YouTube users in return for NOT blocking Hulu, Fox or CBS on the next Google Play Tablet or Google Media Magic Box or Whatever. 

Whatever, it's bad news for anyone putting home videos up on YouTube.

Vimeo, here I come. It's just a link.